its just thursday

today my son pulled out his own tooth, i was inspired by a homeless man, and i began the journey of falling for a friend. i was charmed by the ease of conversation, openness of heart, and a special dazzle within the eyes...when we hugged, i felt comfortable and safe. like i could finally rest. so now begins the dance. the tricks of courtship. the twist and turns of affection. typically i am challenged to override my fear and distrust of others. as a form of protection i don't take most interactions seriously. i want to take this seriously...and not mess up. well i will mess up, but i don't want the mess to be a detriment to possibilities. i remember elementary school when i would have a crush-tommy, brandon...i never made a move for fear of rejection. even now as an almost 31 yr old women, i am reduced to that 8, 10, and 12 yr old. this fear is absolutely a learned space. my nature is to pursue what i want with reckless abandon...this i do in every other area of my life, except relationships. i have yet to understand why love-which is something we all desire-appears to be scarce. so many search, yet no one finds. do we blindly pass in the night? my life is moving down an interesting path...the one that i planned. this has never happened and i struggle to trust the process...i wonder if my friend is thinking about me.

To George

I can't stand you and your protocols
You walk around swinging your imaginary dick looking for someone to fuck over and over until your power disintegrates your skin and decorates you in a hideous way
Lies fall out of your mouth and I tripped over one the other day
Yet every day you prepare yourself to be pretty for the man
To suck his dick in the break room while drafting new policies to catch more prey, nourishment for digest on your way to the top
Feminists fuck better, oh yeah they do…
Right in the ass to an unsuspecting comrade,
Suffocating, you become the struggle.
The head that you so enjoy sucks the air out of the room and I am ashamed to call you sister.