disappearing act

where have i been? that's an excellent question...new job...newish relationship...new degree...new figure...i guess i have been quite busy, however something yet feels undone. i feel as if i've lost my impulse to create. i've become a responsible routine oriented partner and parent and my colors seem to have flown out the window. i miss writing poetry admist a sink full of dishes and moving aside piles of laundry to find a blank canvas. its almost as if a relationship has ended. i never asked for the ability to create, it is a desire born within that has quite literally saved my life. its like a drug, once discovered, i've always searched for the next great high...like crack it remains unattainable so i must continue in pursuit of my bliss. as a recovering close minded evangelical (not all evangelicals are the same, i'm only speaking to who i was) i often give thought to the term 'born again'. as i get older, i realize that we experience multiple births throughout our lives...continually becoming a 'new man (womyn). we are reborn not only in our relationships with god, but also in relationship with self. there is so much on the inside of us...something unique and often hidden...i suppose the question is really in the hiding. do we hide ourselves or are we only undiscovered?